Tuesday, December 9, 2014

How to know if a friend is your friend

Hello readers!
This post would be a very lengthy one as i tried to address some issue that i had been trying to keep it at a low profile even though i am infamous for being a complain queen.
I have been hesistating for the longest time before deciding if i want to write this post.
As i know when i wrote this post, it would also probably the end of our friendship that i once cherished so much with a friend.
But, after so many incidents, i realised it is not up to me to decide anymore, the moment i observed that i am being made use of.

The root of the problems started with the first incident that make me so frustrated.
I have been complaining to my close friends that i could remember it so clearly as i am typing it down now.
When i decided to enrol in kaplan to complete my degree, the sales consultant told me that i could put a friend name if i know of any who had studied in kaplan as the referral,  so she, (kiti) was the one who accompanied me when the sales consultant was explaining to me the details of the course,
at that time, i could not think of any names, so she offered by saying that she has a friend who studied in kaplan, so we could use her friend's name.
I was skeptical initially when the sales consultant told me that the referral fee is $700.
But since i got a name from her, why not?

If you were to look at the marketing point of view, this $700 is actually rightfully my own money that they charge from my own school fee, so this referral fee should rightfully belong to mine even though i used her friend's name. which in fact, i didn't get into kaplan because of her friend referral anyway!

Later on, i realised i had friends that are already studying in kaplan, if i choose their name, i probably would have received all my $700 instead of half, which is what i am going to explain further.

She knows about the referral fee and she told me that i ought to treat her if i really receive the $700, which i readily agreed at that point of time.

It was true that after the first few months when school started, the sales consultant came to look for me and pass me the cheque, there were other classmates who received the cheque of the referral fee as well!

But the cheque name was kiti's friend and not my name, so it means i have to contact her friend to come up with an agreement of the money as i don't know her friend at all.
Initially i msg her and told her that i really received the cheque, i tried to ask her to check if her friend can return me the $700 because by right it really belong to me what!

I had other classmates using their friend's name and they did not even ask for half of the money and transferred the $700 back to them.
I think i am quite unlucky to have a friend that is different from theirs.

At that time, i did expect that the friend might not be willing to return the $700 because you never know if one will be greedy after they actually received a cheque of $700 under their name without doing anything?

So i did told her, if he is not willing, we would have a spilt 50-50 agreement, other friends was telling me its so easy to earn that $350 just by using his name.
I had no competitive advantage because the name on the cheque is her friend.
As my friend, i think she should know better that money is a very sensitive topic,
she was so protective of her friend, taking sides for him because she claimed we use his name in the first place without asking.

But in the first place, she suggested it!
And even if we did use her friend name, she could take the initative to inform her own friends that she is using his name as a referrer name, i mean he is your friend, not mine.
If you feel paiseh, in the first place, don't suggest using your friend name then!

She feel that the friend deserve the $350 just by using his name.
At that time, there was another alternative by paying $50 to change the referra name, at that time i was deciding whether i should change the cheque to another of my friend that i could trust instead.

But she was convincing me that her friend can be trusted, reliable, whatever crap.
So i trusted her, i went to deposit the cheque, it was a friday and the following monday was a public holiday so technically, by wednesday or thursday, the money should have already bank inside her friend account,
we had already come up with the agreement of 50-50.
 i checked my bank account on wednesday and the money was not in,
i hate to even lend friends $ because i don't like the idea of having to ask for my money back as though i am begging them.
So i msg her, and she msg her friend,
  all this while i did not communicate with her friend as she was the messenger between me and her friend, 
i am not sure why she does not even want to tell her friend that its me who is using his name, instead she told me she didn't told her friend that its not her who is using his name.
because i tried to ask her to give me her friend contact number and she was reluctant to give it to me.
now the entire incident sounds fishy.
who knows if she actually spilt the other $350 with her friend?
because if you are worried that your friend knows that i am the one using his name and he might not return me the $ because i am nothing to him, that means he is not reliable or trustworthy as you claim right?

i only reflected after the entire incident because i see how 'fake' she is as a person.
I had to spend more than a week to get that money and that is the result of pestering her to bug her friend to transfer me the money.
She was getting frustrated at me as well, which fucking make me mad because she should have some responsibility in ensuring that her friend transferred me the money to me instead of me having to ask her.
internet banking is so advanced nowsdays, ibanking transfer takes less than 5min to transfer and her friend could take more than a week to transfer and this was last warning when i told her if i am not getting the money back, i am going to file a police report for fraud.
i had the screenshots, and she wouldnt get off unscathed because she is also involved, if anything happen, she is also the accomplice of her friend if i can't get the money back!
because you know how fucking irritating when she told me her friend is working, and will transfer, days after days, nothing at all.
don't fucking tell me he has no time, because this is just an excuse, like i say, ibanking.
even if he does not have ibanking, he do work, and there are several atms around, what is so difficult to transfer the fees?
 seriously? facing such a situation, you can't expect me to stay calm and choose to trust her friend like what she told me to right?
she can still assure me that HE WILL TRANSFER ME THE MONEY BECAUSE HE CAN BE TRUSTED, last time his kaplan textbooks he give it all free to HER.
ARE YOU STUPID OR WHAT? kaplan textbook is usually free and this is not money, this is just fucking papers!
i can give all my TEXTBOOKS AWAY FOR FREE after i graduate too!

before that i had also tweeted on twitter complaining about her friend, because it really making my blood boil testing my limit of patience!
and she got angry because she come and message me telling me like
'can you don't put my name in the twitter, while i did say i am saying Kiti's friend, if anyone blind to see and assume its you that i am scolding, too bad la.'
before you started to slam me on twitter, thinking i got no fucking idea. THINK CAREFULLY AGAIN.

i rmb after all this fuss, i even message dhannie as he was serving as a policemen regarding cases like this because she told me on sat night by tt day could receive.
SUNDAY morning i still did not receive when i checked, until few hours later, she msg me telling me to check my bank acc as her friend had transferred the fee.
to her, she think that i am blaming her for all these fuss, and she got frustrated too, i was angry with her friend and not her, though partly i think if she could be honest with me and i wouldnt mind to pay the additional fee to change the name if she feel its wrong to use her fucking friend's name.

and she also emphasised after her friend had transferred me the $ that i don't have to give her the treat because she is tired of being the messenger etc blah.

i thought there's nothing wrong in promising her the treat even though it was so much problem during the process of getting my money back.
so i told her that i would give her the dinner treat as usual.
but during that period of time, i think after a few days i guess, i saw her fucking tweets that was bluntly talking about me even though she didn't mention the names.
if you want to say about someone, just fucking mention the name.
 don't try to be a saint.
i had the screenshot previously, catching her several tweets that was talking about me.
which i think its downright 贱 to the point.
or usually we call these type of person 小人 for my us readers, it can be deemed as little person, a direct translation which often refer to as lowly person, mean person, a dirty rat? HAHA i went to search for the definition to be more precise.
because she tweeted something like, 
'see this kind of person worth trusting? you fled even faster than my friend! i think i should also screenshot everything and show to the police or pass to the police too!' its almost similar even without the screenshot. 
and i am not afraid if you do read this, tell me its aren't true, you didn't tweeted this . i shown it to my several friends with the screenshot and they could vouch for it.
i guess there could no be other coincidence that she has other friends about the same time frame that told her something about reporting to the police?
and seriously, if you want to ask me the motive of her tweet?
to defame me? i guess? you know how bitchy it is when you don't mention names because you arouse more curiosity and people start asking you.

and she still got the cheek to be angry  when i mention her friend and she ask me not to tweet using her name because it will spoil her reputation?
what a joke, if your reputation is so easy to be tarnished, i guess you don't really have a good reputation to start with? 

the only reason i could only think of is, the promise of the dinner treat that i had not been able to meet her to treat her the one fucking meal that she can't wait to eat?

and even though i was angry over that tweet, but i maintained my cool, because i think she probably has never had a free meal before and she want to use $ issue to measure it equivalent to a dinner treat that is not so important to me. like 你有酱饿吗?! are you that hungry that you have to wait for me to treat?

and you cant deny that tweet is not directed towards me, because i saw another bitch that i once slam her before, AMANDA GOH or KOH or whatever shit? asking who or something and she reply someone that she is not very pleased with too.
so you see, i don't malign anyone without checking. 
if i want, i could have just confronted her when she tweeted that.
but i thought in my mind at that time, i dont see the need to having this friend in my life.
i will still give her that treat she WANTED SO MUCH.
but to me, its equivalent to a farewell dinner.
we are never ever hanging out together.

and during the period when i was busy , she was constantly messaging me and asking me when to meet etc.
however right after the treat that i did pay for the treat, she seem to vanish in thin air,
no more messaging for meet up etc.
you disgust me alot. do you know?
you make me see through a person's true colours.
you kiti kui.

her other tweet also mentioned something that is so fucking misleading like i had been seeking for her help in alot of stuffs and she shouldn't even help me.

I cannot remember asking any of her fucking help in whatever.
1. when her bloody face got some breakouts, she called me immediately asking me for help, asking me for advice from my boss regarding her face.
i seriously regret introducing her to see my boss because she spend such a long time in the consultation and hogging up the entire q.
and thats probably why my boss dont even give her a discount. 
when he used to give to my other friends.
2. she ask me to help her take slimming pills so that she could consume or for her aunt etc i remember helping her to get 2 box of it, and i cannot remember if she did transfer me the money for the pills.
because i know she did not hand me money at the same time when i pass her the pills.
in my memory, i cannot really remember. 
if you want to say me as a money sucker, please remember if you suck other people money first.
3. when she decided to apply for an admin inside the army, and got rejected and tried to ask me to ask my bf for help to see if she could get recruited in.
 she only know how to make use of others when she is in need of help.
4. ask me for my lecture notes so that she could use it to give some tuition to her friends or students.
this was after the money issue incident.
i did pass her some of my lectures notes to her.
5. told me she want to go to ndp as i told her i might be able to get the tickets for this year and if my bf was present, she want to know some other guys in ns through my bf.
but she did ask me to get her the tickets, its a bloody hell fact.

I was still being kind to her despite when she was saying me on twitter, but i know after that incident, things was not ever going to be the same anymore,
 i was not even planning to even stay in contact with her until few months ago, when i started on a losing weight streak diet as bf was overseas and i wanted to give him a surprise, and publish one selfie on facebook, 
everyone likes the photo with some commenting that i lose alot of weight,
as a friend, if you really are, i don't think there is anything you need to hide by having to privately msg me over wechat telling me i lose weight and telling me that you wanna go fitness with me suddenly?!
are you fucking kidding me? when we rarely even contact after so long and suddenly you saw my photo and what are you trying to get from me now?!
, she also got the cheek to ask me my weight at that time, i was dumb enough to reply her telling her my weight and she didn't reply aftertat, probably thinking that it was the photo that was deceiving and i didn't really lose much weight after asking my weight.
probably the most recent photo i had. 
and then after probably few weeks or a month, she wechat me again asking me some xenical meds also for slimming purposes, can you see how this person is using me?
when she need me, she come looking for me, when she don't, she disappear.
and still got the fat cheek to tell me you help me so many times.
i find the need to say because i had my own right to clarify the entire issue to prevent misleading others into thinking she is the victim from everything.

if we have any mutual friends reading whatever i am writing right now, and thinking whether you should let her know, go ahead. 
i am not twisting the facts. 
whatever i say is the truth, i am not even afraid for a confrontation.
but at the end of the day, there is no way i am going to be even label as friends w her anymore. not even a hi-bye friends.
and i think she is so insignificant that i didn't even realise she blocked me on wechat and whatsapp.
should not be just ytd when i realised, maybe when she see i didn't reply her, got angry and started to block me. LOL.
having a dog is better than having you around as my friend.

i am still very grateful to have some of my close friends who will never try to take advantage of me like her.
so to anyone out there, if you observed you have such a friend like this, its time to get rid of this kind of friend because they will never think for you but for themselves only, and you ended up being used at the end of the day.
till then!