Saturday, December 31, 2016

Wedding Planning : Taobao, the platform to getting some of your wedding essential items. Drama

Hello readers! I am here to share my experience to purchasing some of the logistics items that i bought for my wedding. Majority of the items is bought online on Taobao. If you know how to read chinese and have no difficulties communicating in chinese texts, Taobao will be a good platform for you to purchase all the essential items you need for your wedding!

As i started my wedding planning way ahead, i had lots of time and i am absolutely a taobao queen. I bought almost everything from Taobao because there are so many sellers in Taobao, you just need to make sure you find the right seller that is selling what you are looking for.

I bought all my wedding stickers in Taobao, and they are really cheap, for smaller stickers, the price do not go beyond $2. When you shop online, it usually has more nicer designs compare to those you will find in retail store and cheaper too!
I bought these Tissue paper box that fit the 'wedding' theme. Haha i bought it but forgot to display it out on the wedding day.
These was the brother's bow tie that i bought it from Taobao, matching with the sister's dress and each of this bow tie cost after conversion cost probably about S$4 only! Each of this bow tie come well packed in a box.
For my sister's bridesmaid dress, many brides may spend up to $200 plus on bridesmaid dress, especially if you are planning to have many sisters,be prepared to spend even more! Super kiasu me start searching bridesmaid dress in May, initially i wanted to get them pink color as dress code since my whole wedding theme color is pink. But i couldn't find any nice design until i saw this purple bridesmaid design, they comes in different design so i could check with the sisters to choose the design they like. So it doesn't have to be the same because everyone has different figures, some might not like to wear sleeveless, some might like to wear different design. So i went to show them and they told me their sizing, the design they prefer before i proceed to order!
 Limei choose this halter neck since she was so skinny and she could show off her pretty arm.
 PC choose this design which the others sisters actually thought this is nice too after they saw her trying it on!
Both Jieying & Kangrui choose this design, which i myself love it too! Haha, not too revealing and elegant at the same time!
This is how it look like at the back, since its adjustable strap, it was quite easy to put it on. As a bride-to-be, i focus more on the overall appeal especially during phototaking and not just having the attention on me, so i do really splurge alot on all these misc items that i will be talking more as we go along.

For the bridesmaid dress, each dress excluding shipping cost only $12! (i excluded shipping cost because i usually purchase many items on bulk, so its hard for me to add shipping cost per item)
I had 4 sisters in total so i only incur less than $50 for their dresses. I had my dog outfit to take care of too! Since they are wearing purple, i try to find a purple dress for Duffy too! This was what she wore on the actual day! 
 Even Duffy dress is specially carefully selected by me! When you pay attention to details, there are moments the photographer could capture during the wedding day. I was surprised when i receive this photo from our photographer. Super glad to have engage him as our actual day photographer as he really takes nice photo but i shall talk about this in my other post next time. Oh and Duffy went for grooming as well just days before my wedding day so that she look neat and pretty!
In my other post, i did mentioned about the chinese wedding shop Guo Da Li packages, beside having those package, they do sell other kind of wedding essential items and the pajamas was one of the item they have, but i didn't bought from them because one pc cost about $49.90 so per set will cost almost $100 if i don't remember wrongly, Eventually, i bought it on taobao at $18 per pc.and that cost only $36 per set!

You can't really find these designs in Singapore, even if you really manage to find, the selling price might be double the price than if you get it through Taobao.

It can get really addicting when you start shopping for the wedding stickers because everything is so cheap, and i had no idea how much exactly i need as i am buying to get Jeremy to paste at his house too since its cheaper to buy online, so i purchase those wedding stickers whenever i saw nice design in multiple months. Haha, this sticker below is really useful especially to paste on your wardrobe, windows and even the dressing table mirror, you can just take one piece and it will stick, doesn't require any tape etc, if you want it to be paste firmly, you can spray some water on its surface before pasting it. Super easy and convenient! This cost less than $1.

Initially I order one of this giant size wedding poster first, because i do not really go and measure the size, i usually purchase based on the photos they provide as reference, as i hate to look at measurements. When we unpack and i thought it was suitable to be the main backdrop, i ordered the second one to put at Jeremy's house as well.
Duffy being kaypoh whenever i start to unpack my taobao stuffs.
I bought super cute angbaos from Taobao too, these will meant to be distributed to all brother,sisters, and those who need to receive angbao from us. Haha
Subsequently i bought alot more but i didn't take photos of everything, those that you see above was items that i bought super early but i was worried later i will forget what i had buy so i take photos to keep track as i had all these kept in a carton box and it was troublesome to take down to refer what i have not bought each time.

Besides that, i bought my wedding heels at Taobao too! I bought the shoes quite early too as i used it for my wedding photoshoot, but i went on to buy another new set to be wore on wedding day, it was the same silver color &i bought another red one to match with my kua. It cost only $10 per pair. 

I try to buy baby breath as well! They are actually real but dried baby breath, but it's not as nice as i first receive it when i kept it till my wedding day. Eventually, its those fresh baby breath that are still nicer! 

I bought this plain white vase that were meant to hold those baby breath. But luckily, these vases had its uses on the actual day when i bought fresh roses instead and my aunt came to my house the day before and help me with the floral decoration.
I bought these cute packaging boxes in all different sizes! i bought the top one that i thought of putting some chocolates & sweets, but ended up it become just props for my Guo da li & actual day because i was too busy to pack chocolates & sweets inside.

When we ordered our guo da li package, the teacup set is inclusive as well, and usually that is to be used at the groom side. We do have the old teacup set that my mum used to have but she prefer to buy another new set as the one we had was very old already and she didn't want to transfer the teacup set from groom side to bride side, to prevent any breakage which was deemed as not a good sign if it really happen. To me, this is not a big issue so i went to taobao to purchase another teacup set that is meant to be used at my house instead of transferring the teacup set to and fro. This cost $14 which is still cheaper than the one we ordered inside the Guo Da Li package.
Even though Jeremy's mum was telling me there can only be one set and not advisable to purchase another set, but i already purchased it, to prevent conflict,i acknowledge it without probing further. My mum & I once witness how a mother & daughter were quarreling over a teacup set at the chinese wedding shop when the daughter tell her mother that she only need 1 set, and we overheard their conversation was something like, the bride can use the normal cups while the teacup set is meant to be used at the groom family. Initially their idea was to transfer the teacup set from groom house to bride house for tea toasting, but the mother had the same thought as my mum that the teacup set might be damaged during the transportation process. You never know who might accidentally slip or fall down and your teacup set broken into pieces and it won't be a good sign if it do really happens.

Everyone want the best for their kids on their big day right? But how do you resolve issue like that? one say cannot buy, one want to buy? Sometimes its these small little issues that do get on the couple nerves. It get on my nerves more because i am the one doing most of the wedding preparation and Jeremy do nothing much except forking out the money but giving me more trouble when he blurt out that we plan to have one new teacup set at our family for tea toasting, which i guess why his mum would come and talk to me. (because 无风不起浪) 
So, MY resolution was, get jeremy mama know that my house do have the old tea cup set, and we are not buying a new one. On the other hand, we are using the new teacup set on actual day since i already purchased. 

I prepared for Jeremy 2 set of actual day bow tie (grey and navy blue) and its from taobao as well even though the bridal studio will provide, but i guess the variety is usually limited, so i bought 2 set for him to match his 2 set of suits. He lost the grey bow tie after the wedding, grr. I sold off the navy blue after the wedding and still earn a profit. Haha.

This was the navy blue one, it even comes with a hankerchief. $4 per set as well.

Few month before my wedding day, my mum told me she would like to do a table full of foods upon our return from groom side during the morning ceremony. Traditionally, last time people do prepare a feast 3 days after the bride returned from groom family to welcome them back and meant for son in law as well but nowadays many don't do as they got no time or they doesn't know how to do it like banquet style.

So.. i bought tablecloth on taobao too! I know this is getting exaggerating but i bought many different kind of tablecloth. Haha, i bought maroon red, beige, pink. My first purchase, i bought one to try first, the material was good as shown below, so i purchase a few more. For the dimension, i told the seller my table dimension and ask for their recommendation which option to select, thus there was not much issue when the tablecloth arrived and it fit well the table.

Besides that, i bought bowls, saucer, chopsticks & spoons in white to match what i visual on my mind. For white plates, i bought it from ikea as it was super cheap like 90cent for one plate.
This is the actual presentation of the foods they prepared on our wedding day! All the foods were prepared by my mum & my aunt. They are awesome! Just a pity our photographer left so no high resolution for this photo. This was taken using phone. hurhur.
Looking back at this photo with all these food makes me feel hungry again.

Like any other couples preparing for their wedding, we had our own fair share of arguments.The frequency of our quarrels get more and more intense as our wedding day draws nearer. and the most intense one was the one we had one day before our guo da li ceremony which i quarrel with Jeremy over the phone, shouting at him before hanging up on him and refusing to pick up his call again. But this drama also taught me a very important moral of the story. Sometimes it won't do you any benefit when you are so ready to share. It is very important to keep info just to yourself.

The drama started because of this basket below. My mum saw this when we went to collect the bride dowry package for the guo da li and she thought this basket is suitable to use on my wedding day and she wanted to prepare a special kind of rice that will be placed inside this basket and for me to bring over which symbolise some blessing. But eventually this basket was not used on our actual day. 

So the story goes like this, Jeremy's sister has decorated a basket, with pink ribbons that is meant to put oranges for actual day so one day when we returned back to his house and i was casually telling the sister that my mum will be preparing a basket as well, but was not sure if Jeremy can hold both basket at the same time or just carry one. It was just a very simple of sharing that he will collect this basket when he come to pick me on our wedding day.

So, i do not know what goes on and the next moment when i went back to his house again during weekends and his mum was saying that i cannot bring the basket over because their fengshui master say if we practising this, then we had to observe the ritual of not being able to attend any wedding or funeral for the next 4 months. We will also have to do the combing ritual which my mum doesn't want to do for me because of some special reasons. For me, i am also not exactly a very traditional person. (I want to bring the basket over because i thought it would be good for photo-taking purpose. That's my real true thoughts.)

But his mum continued and told me if i didn't bring this basket and that bowl of rice, we would only need to observe 1 month and skip the combing hair ritual. My first thoughts was not very comfortable because this was what my mum wish to do for her daughter and this is actually done in goodwill because it will benefit not just me but the entire groom family as well if observed. But i didn't lose my top at that moment but i could foresee this will be a big issue when i go back and tell my mum and i really hate that i should not have mention this to his sister in the first place.

This jeremy was on his mum side as he feel that since it's his fengshui master advice, we should oblige. (FYI, my uncle is also fengshui master, so if we are persistent, who should we listen?) And i told him, since he didn't see this to be a big issue, he shall be the one to pass this message to my mum instead.

He did pass the message across, on the surface, my mum say its ok, never mind she don't do, but in her heart, she is fucking angry and mad as she was complaining to me the next day. Hahaha i knew it because she tend to be 口是心非. But she won't be mean to Jeremy. Unlike me, if i am angry, i am angry, i won't pretend i am not. If i am angry, the whole world has to know and i don't care. Plus 我记仇的. So even when everything has been sorted out aftertat. I still find the need to write it down here which is why i am typing here.  

I didn't want to upset my mum, nor his mum but if you ask me, definitely i would side with my mum, because she has to prepare all the stuffs and its not like she is demanding the groom side to do with her, so why can't they accommodate this arrangement instead of listening to their master? . I was getting angry and i was trying to bend the rules.  My mum told us, even if she don't prepare this, we cannot avoid the fact that we need to observe the 4 month tradition of not being able to attend any wedding and funerals. For me, i don't mind skipping all these for 4 months as this is for our own good and at the same time can siam weddings especially if the person invited us is not really that close to us. (I told all my close friends not to get married within the next 4 months if they want me to attend)  

Then comes the combing ritual. His mum said if we want to do, we need to have the combing ritual too to which my initial plan was to tell Jeremy to just pretend i did and he was mad. But i don't give a damm because i just want to have my way. Thus he said he will go back and check with his mum again. 

But he came back with even absurd excuses trying to back me off. He came up with lousy excuses like his mum said if i bring the basket over, we had to observe the 4 month avoiding and we cannot stay at their house for 4 months because his parents will need to go to cemetery and asking me if my parents will be going to the cemetery for tomb sweeping because if they do, we cannot stay at both houses either for 4 months. he really think his fiancee me is an idiot, isn't it? This is the most lousy and ridiculous excuse i heard of. 
I only heard before newlywed avoiding wedding & funerals but never heard before they have to avoid staying in the same place, breathing the same air because the others went to the cemetery and they are considered taboo, and will have clashes with us later. And his resolution was telling me if my parent's don't go, then we are safe. How about your parents don't go, then its safe. I mean who created this entire saga first? Roll eyes.

I do not know whether there is some miscommunication in between because he don't bother with the wedding preparation and if he ever do have free time, he will be playing his stupid games on his phone, but his reason has totally riled both my parents up when i pass the message to them as i was fuming and my mum was being sarcastic and say if they have to come up with so much excuses then its ok to skip this preparation as she don't want to make it a big issue because she know i am capable of making it to escalate into a big issue. 

He still got the cheek to give me attitude as we was arguing in the car when he send me home and i was so angry that i slammed his car door hard before i went home and complaining to my parents. He called me after he went back and i does not want to talk to him so i told him to talk to my mum instead. He was being so rude to my mum because it was on speaker mode when he talk to my mum and my mum retorted back telling him since this has cause so much unhappiness among us, its meaningless to continue. She will not do.

While Jeremy keep trying to explain because he probably feel that sense of guilt and keep telling my mum she don't understand etc then demand my mum to pass the phone back to me, he was so fucking rude and i took over the phone and within few sentences, we quarrelled over the phone and i was so angry i shouted at him that 'I don't want to get married!' before i kup his phone and i was crying when my parents + olm came in and check on me and i told them i don't want to get married and told him to call off the wedding. 

I guess he was panicking after that because i guess he didn't expect me to shout at him over the phone as i told him to call off the wedding .I told him since you want to makes things to be so complicated right, we shall call off the wedding, fuss free.

I was so angry, sick and tired of listening to his bullshit when i had been the one doing most of the preparation, i do not mind being the one making most of the decisions because sometimes things work faster when one could make decisions, but all kind of ridiculous excuse he could come up with just to make sure the basket do not appear on the actual day, that was the last straw. 

I didn't cry the whole night though. Haha, it didn't take me too long before i fall asleep and i slept super well because i only woke up at 10plus am the next morning. I couldn't care less.

When i check my phone and realised his mum called me several times, but i don't wish to talk to anyone of them so i get him to talk to my mum instead. So his mum and my mum communicate over the phone, and his mum was apologising on his behalf because he was rude to my mum and suddenly he told me we can bring the basket over because his mum told us his sister googled last night and say its has good meaning behind it etc.

Now, the thing is, if google has all the answer to it, why didn't they GOOGLE in the first place before coming up with all sort of excuses after i blew my top and tells them i decided not to get married anymore before they come up with this lousy excuse to pacify us? You see the point behind it?

So, on the day of our guo da li, this issue was resolved after they told us we could bring, but it's hard for me to pretend nothing has happened that day so i didn't want to talk to Jeremy even when he arrived at our house with all the stuffs. I didn't even want to help him with all the stuffs he brought.  I just took my own sweet time preparing before going his house after my mum was waiting for the wedding cakes and stuff to pray to our ancestors and gods. 

My mum is already not happy after what has happened and she told me eventually she is not going to do the special rice because if we have already fight over this stage, its pointless to do it because it has already defeat the initial purpose. So we didn't get to use this basket at all which is a pity. 

So, i like to advise all couples who are planning their wedding, its normal to have such conflicts, i am sure there are others who had far even greater issue than us but just make sure that your quarrels could be prevented if you know how to keep your mouth shut and not share info that no one except you should know to expect if you doesn't want to cause so much unhappiness just before your wedding day. No one can do anything even if they are unhappy on your actual day because everyone didn't take notice of it.

Till then.

To read more on my wedding planning posts, click according to the post you would like to read below,

To read more on my wedding planning posts, click according to the post you would like to read below,

*Wedding Gown Selection Click HERE
*Tips before your wedding photoshoot and during photoshoot. Click HERE
*Our Wedding Banquet Dinner Venue  Click HERE
*Our Wedding Invitation Card, Bridal Furniture & Ordering of GUO DA LI Click HERE
*Food Tasting at Orchid Country Club, Peach Garden Click HERE
*Selection of Wedding Photoshoot Photos Click HERE
*Why Taobao is the best place to buy your wedding essential items. Click HERE 
*Filing for notice of Marriage/ Trial Hairdo & Makeup/Manicure Click HERE
*Errands to complete before actual day Click HERE
*Wedding Planning (Checklist of items to take note) Click HERE
*Actual Day Wedding (Morning Ceremony) Click HERE
*Wedding Banquet dinner celebration at Orchid Country Club, Grand Ballroom Click HERE

Friday, December 30, 2016

Wedding Planning : Ready to be publish wedding photos after selection of materials, layout etc

Hello readers! So i have dedicated a post to selection of our wedding photos that will be printed on the wedding album. Usually, this is the part where you will be tempted to have all the photos and ending up paying more for the additional photos.

We make an appointment through our wedding coordinator to arrange a date to go down and browse through the photos and start selecting those photos using the elimination method first.

This is the time where you really had to ensure you are not hungry when you head down as you will spend quite awhile in the bridal studio deciding the photos that is entitled to you in your package, if you are hungry, you might not make the wise decision as your hunger pang influence you to make the most irrational decision like us which we bought everything after sitting 4 hour in the bridal studio.

For us, we had only 35 photos and its really hard to choose, isn't it? Actually i think i could really delete to those photos if i was not hungry and i had more time. The lady boss was giving us the promotion price after she probably see that i had delete so many photos and if i don't stop, maybe i won't even need to pay extra. Haha. ( I was left with remaining 65 photos after deleting the photos in the desktop)

But, I swear this is not easy, as long as it's not too ugly, any girl would want to buy back all the additional photos, and the reason why we eventually paid a huge sum was, all soft copies will be returned to us. I could edit those original photos even though they are not in the album and because we paid additional 4k for it, i had to better utilise my photos that i bought so i post on my social media platforms as and when i like, which i did by doing a 50 days to wedding photo marathon on my Instagram profile, showing everyday counting towards the actual day. I went on to do a photoshoot slideshow that was meant to be play during our wedding dinner, but i was too busy nearing the wedding date so olm help me to do as those photos are all high resolution and its take longer time to compile and its not easy as it may take 1 day to fully import everything on the video editor.

Another reason for me to display those photos beside paying a huge price for it and to better utilise it was to attract the guests to be seated on time inside the ballroom. When the doors is open for them to be seated, at least there is some photos to attract their attention to WANT to automatically being seated without being asked to and since i doubt not everyone will goes to the wedding album table and start flipping our wedding photos. This was another way to making sure everyone get to see our wedding photos! Haha.

We was lucky that the orchids were blooming when we went to botanic gardens! We had outdoor and indoor shoot, and my favorite was the ones taken at Botanic Gardens! We was lucky as the weather was good on that day.

 This is one of my favorite that i selected it to be printed out as A0. I just find this will be good to hang it as a painting when our house is ready!
For our indoor shoot, it was sweet and simple.

Initially, i thought after we had select the photos, paid for the additional photos, we can come back another day to collect the ready album. But, i was wrong. They had to do some editing on those that i had selected into the 65 poses that will be printed on the wedding album, and we had to come back another day, to look at the edited photos, which those that you see above has all been edited before and to see if the sequence and layout that the designer has done is up to our expectations.

So, we went down the second time, this time round with Jieying and with her bf joining us afterthat as we went down after work and we didn't had our dinner again. The staff show us the photos after editing for me to go through and write down any photos that require further editing etc.

It was another long tedious process again, but i think its always good to get some of your friends to go along with you because they might observe in another perspective view that you might not realise.

Just when i thought after we highlight some of the photos that require further editing and that's it.
But no! We had to select 2 A0 poster photo, 1 8R Photo, and since we had two big wedding album, and the cover page is acrylic which means we need to choose another two photos. And, it's not just the photos, we had to choose the materials, color that we want. (Which i was tired by then and get Jeremy to choose instead)

This is what i am referring the layout that will be printed on the wedding album for the photos below. It do looks different when it is being placed together in a collage. And most of the times, 35 photos is actually not enough.
So, i would advise everyone to just set aside a sum of money that many will definitely spend to buy additional photos, but just make sure you get back the soft copy as well!

After we had finished selecting everything, they will inform us once the album has been completed etc. Once this was settled, we could focus on other stuffs for the wedding.

Shall end this post for now, next post will be tips to purchasing all the essential items and decor for wedding.
Till then!

To read more on my wedding planning posts, click according to the post you would like to read below,

To read more on my wedding planning posts, click according to the post you would like to read below,

*Wedding Gown Selection Click HERE
*Tips before your wedding photoshoot and during photoshoot. Click HERE
*Our Wedding Banquet Dinner Venue  Click HERE
*Our Wedding Invitation Card, Bridal Furniture & Ordering of GUO DA LI Click HERE
*Food Tasting at Orchid Country Club, Peach Garden Click HERE
*Why Taobao is the best place to buy your wedding essential items. Click HERE 
*Filing for notice of Marriage/ Trial Hairdo & Makeup/Manicure Click HERE
*Errands to complete before actual day Click HERE
*Wedding Planning (Checklist of items to take note) Click HERE
*Actual Day Wedding (Morning Ceremony) Click HERE
*Wedding Banquet dinner celebration at Orchid Country Club, Grand Ballroom Click HERE