Wednesday, September 30, 2015

i worked and i left.

Hello to my readers, i decide to update my blog that has been neglected for so long.
so.. i make the boldest decision to tender at my ex company and currently working at another new company that was readily to take me in when i emailed them back and ask if the position was still open.
Apparently, the position was still open so the HR guy checked with the people who initially interview me and got the approval to bring me in my current job position.
everything was under wraps until it was confirmed as i liaise with the HR side that i decided to tendered after 3 weeks of stay in my ex company.
everyone was telling me i had a high level of tolerance after hearing all the rants that i didn't take it to blog here but in bite sizes through whatsapp /twitter
initially i was so looking forward to working in the company that i had previously blogged about my job hunting experience.
but then, sometimes in life, you can't always get what you assume it will turned out to be.
so, on the first day, i guess they didn't really prepare to welcome me on my first day, not like i will mind, but after working in my current company, i am so glad that i make the right decision to quit that company.
when i first reported to work, my desk was not even prepared properly, laptop was not even configured for me and i had to carry someone's else laptop to the IT dept to get it configure myself.
but that is not the main factor that i wanted to tender.
(i am not so weak just because the department didn't prepare to welcome me on the first day la)
the reason i wanted to tender consist alot of other factors.
firstly, i can't see myself working with those VPs without feeling miserable.

The deputy head, ( sorry to say but he has been demoted, i guess, which he totally deserve it.)
to just vice president that interview me had a talk with me in his office,
On the first day, i was already affected with his words, as he started by welcoming me first,
but after tat along his words, he told me frankly that the senior vice president did not want to take me in as he feel there is another candidate that is better and because of this, he mentioned that he has told the SVP that i can perform etc blah blah shit so he hope that i can work hard and perform to prove to the SVP that he was right.

when i told these to my friends, everyone told me that, what he is doing was not professional at all.
even if you don't mean any harm, but you has affected me emotionally, on the first day somemore.
later on, i get to know the feud between the svp and him.
apparently, the svp was his subordinate, and he was his boss,
he work for 25years, and the svp works for about 10 over years but has already overtake him.
the ego, the pride that he has lost.
and i can see for myself how he is instilling all the negative thoughts to everyone in the dept.
even though i got to admit that the SVP is very demanding and he wants information fast.
he can work all days long, but to me i used to work for long hours,but now i understand that work is not EVERYTHING.
Many of us don't realised or reflect when you are dying that you spent 90% of your lifetime purely on work and nothing else because nothing is perfect, you can't have the best of both worlds
i guess that's a pathetic sight even if you are earning 10k-20k or even more per month.
they are not sitting down doing nothing and getting those money for the organization.
maybe they are spending even longer working hours getting work done etc.
travelling here and there for business trips, which is not fun at all.
i prefer to travel with holiday mood and not purely for work.

and so,the VP told the other colleague to teach me properly and handover her previous jobscope to me, which i hate this girl too, because one thing i cannot stand is sloppy work.
and she did not exactly teach me the correct thing,
on the first day, she used probably 1 hr teaching me how to do those claims,
most of the times, i learn how to get it done properly by myself by asking especially when the finance side called me and throwing me back all the mess that this stupid girl did not do the claim properly.
i got to say, despite working there for 3 weeks, i learn how to do the complex claims for all the 8-9 Vps, AVP, mgrs claim.
it was suppose to be a sales support position, but it looks more like the saikang warrior.
and i cannot tolerate doing sai kang when i don't find any purpose in me working in this position.
there was no specified jobscope, everything was like a blank piece of paper.
and i duno what i can learn working in this position.
this is considered like my first desk bound job as i don't sit in office all day before i studied for my degree for my first full time job, i was always on the move, 
i learn how to make flight bookings for the mgrs,vps, manage my direct boss calender, schedule meeting, booking of meeting rooms, compiling everyone's claims, taking minutes during the weekly meeting.
this position sounds like a secretary, and i hate doing a secretary job and i did not apply this position to be a secretary!
being a secretary is not what i want to do and assisting so many people at the same time.
i feel so under pay too! later on during the exit interview with the SVP, i get to know i am supposed to be getting much more higher but they just give my expected salary.
but its ok as even if they was going to offer me, i was not coming back at all,
there was one time, my direct boss was regarding me as his personal asst, helping him to buy meds, buying gifts on his behalf and delivering to his friend, it was a personal errand not on work context,
sending his phone for repairs etc, all these tasks seem simple, and i just remember, buying food for everyone! specifically want nasi padang from the geylang serai.
as i mentioned, i can't really hide my expression when i feel real irritated, my direct boss asking me to buy 8 packet of nasi padang, plus dessert, qing teng somemore!
and i don't eat nasi padang, and i didn't know there was some dishes and he was like writing down the dishes which i cannot remember, i was so pissed but i got to help him and the others buy just because he want to eat and he use haze as an excuse to eat in the office, as the haze was quite bad at that time, like as though i go out no haze so i can go out buy food for everyone. roll eyes*
 this is definitely not what a degree holder will want to work as even though the work is so simple.
especially not me.

and i remember i took 1 week plus just to chart out the stupid minutes taking because it keep getting throw back to me frm the SVP, i does not had any experience taking minutes and i hate taking minutes, asking someone who will daydream during classes/listening to long lectures, taking minutes is a shitty job which i get to know le bf got to do all these. poor thing. haha
and i think i re-do like 5 times or more, before the SVP ask my direct boss to review and i got to say my avp did a better job, and the template that i used was the girl who did the minutes for me, and when i told him that this template was given to me by the girl and he can tell me that because someone say i am good, so he has high expectations of me. like wtf.
these 2 old uncles is using me to challenge each other when there was an important project and no one told me to update him about it, and its very irritating when they was still using Lotus notes and i hate that fucking lotus notes because its so messy and there was even email quota and those to and fro emails making me feeling very very irritated whenever i came back to work on monday and looking through all the shooting emails that was send to each other even during the weekends.
And, not just the email, whatsapp chat was full of sarcasm, hidden agenda behind all those quotes and argument about being a good leader blah blah.
i could identify all the underlying messages, and the tension. for me personally, i emphasise on harmony during work and i hate to fight with colleagues and being the shield for these 2 old uncles, 
like a hamburger stucked between these 2 old buns,
so when i tendered, it was a hot topic for one of them to broadcast to everyone that it was the other one that forced me to quit because i couldn't take it.
which i clarify with the SVP, that this has nothing to do with whether anyone was squeezing me or not, giving me too much pressure etc.
i just don't like this job, no specified jobscope, there could be cases whereby for eg, they want to find out more details about something, so they ask me to search, or they want me to book lunch venue with their clients, this was getting so much like a secretary position.

and during the exit interview, i did mentioned to the SVP what the VP told me on the first day that  he doesn't want to take me in initially, the reason why i told him was at my perspective point of view was, u didn't want to hire me initially, i knew it on the first day of work, so what's\s the point of trying to keep me? or rather, i don't need you to keep me because i got another job offer that told me i was the best fit for the position after they had interviewed every candidates that apply for the job.
but he told me he did not have such thoughts,but i am no longer interested to know whether it was true, but he used what i say, and right after i step out of the office, he called the vp and they had a heated argument.
this was right after i tendered.
where he scolded the vp beccause he told him this is between them, and its just not professional to tell a newbie such stuffs.
the reason why i know was because the vp face was black as charcoal the next day,and he did called me into the office,
before that i was at the other dept chatting with the other colleague, and when i returned back to the office, i could see him talking aggressively with other colleagues, he was asking me whether i did say such things to the svp which i admitted, yes i did.
but what got me kinda riled up was, him telling me that next time when i work in other places, that i need to be careful with my words and think of the consequences of those who are still staying.
seriously at that time, i was so fucking angry with this type of idiot.
he does not think he is not in the wrong for saying such things to me and asking me to be careful with my words.
he was no longer my boss so i couldnt care less, he was adding on like.
'do u think he really want to keep u? he just want to extract out information to use against me'
i wanted to tell him this,
''and do u think that i give a damm or i feel honored that he is asking me to stay?''
i am saying nothing but the truth, and i could say this because i am leaving and why should i bothered about u when u have never ensure that i am being taken good care of in the company?
maybe its good that i voice this out to the SVP to ensure that he doesn't shoot off nonsense from his mouth to scared the other new person that is coming in.
and even up to my last day ever since that confrontation, i have not seen him at all, as they was always out of my sight, which i was pretty much relieved because it was just too much for me to breathe in the same air with this type of idiot.

at least for my current job, there is a specified job scope, and i know that i am taking charge of something that is my responsibility to uphold or to ensure everything turns out smoothly.
yes i would pretty much prefer to work in this type of environment rather than throwing me into not knowing what i am supposed to do everyday or asking me to do stuffs that is just too trivial.

of cos there are some perks working in my previous company like we would drive us out for lunch and each time the lunch is definitely more than 1 hr.  there was one time i took 3 hr, this was because i was having a long chat with my direct boss as i told him i was going to tender.  
he was tasked to bring me out on a separate meeting because the big boss asked him to check if i was ok after the big tussle with emails shooting everywhere.
I had dine with them before at imperial treasure during lunch time, my boss always know where to get good food etc, and everytime, we don't have to pay a single cent for it. 
and i had dine with them at imperial treasure during lunchtime, eating meals that cost like $200.
my direct boss treated me to a meal at this japanese restaurant, and i remember the bill came up to $156. 
His motto was "he is allergic to bad food." haha.
I only managed to take a few of this, didn't get the name of this restaurant but it is located at suntec city.

and whenever if i am going out to eat with my AVP, he usually foots the bill.
this big pizza that he ordered which my colleague and i went to collect cos they do not deliver, 
super big size of the pizza.
but when they have long lunch hrs, they don't exactly leave the office on the dot at 6pm, on my first day, i remember i was not sure if i could go off because no one actually leave the office and i was asking the only girl colleague beside me in the entire dept, whether i could go off when no one is actually leaving.
my direct boss had a different opinion when i told him my observations of this dept because the svp told him to come and talk to me because there was an email incident that he feel he was harsh to me which i don't feel so but more of like using me to attack the other vp.
i guess he was surprised that i could observe people so well that he couldn't help but ask me during our way back to office whether i always tend to read people well.
most of the times, i always feel that, observing and listening is always better than voicing out first, something that you are not confident if its correct because when you talk, you had already formed ur own ideas in your mind and voicing out is only expressing what you had in mind to others, u will insist to stick to your way,and that is why when you maintain your silence, you get to see the clearer picture.
but sometimes, anger takes over you and you would not be able to maintain your silence even if you are trying hard to.
usually i have a more higher tolerance to work, so even when i was left to serve two weeks notice,
i wasn't having it easy too, even on the last day, they was still trying to get me to book their flights, do all their claims etc, coordinate everything etc shit.
i could have leave everything as it was and left, but i tried to be nice and completed what was required of me and i don't owe anyone a living the moment i stepped out of the office on my last day.
they wanted to host a farewell dinner for me which i was not even interested at all because i dont  had any emotional attachment to the place, or to the people.
the bf came over and pick me up on my last day, woohoo,
sweet moments after a terrible day at work when the bf came to pick me up from work occasionally and us bypassing upper thomson road and me having my sweet dose at salted caramel!
the matcha and early grey flavour!

but, the last day of the work at my ex company was not the end, there was just another difficult part of journey that i have walked over now, which i will blog in my next post.
the goddam medical examinations that i had to gone through for the pre employment at my current company.
shall end this post for now.